This morning I was awoken very early.
I don’t like that, I love my sleep. I always say my creative mind needs to stop and take a breath, but this morning I could feel my brain starting to rev up and it would not quieten so that I could go back to sleep. So I said OK Lord, what it is? Our prophetic writing workshop was bobbing around in my head, boinging back and forth, so I sat up and picked up my phone.
Our son John had sent me a text the night before and I saw it on the screen and then noted the time 4.21….whaaaaaa?
I love numbers and always note signs and messages that come through them, so I picked up my bible from the bedside table. It's a purple bound Passion Translation that I received for my 60th birthday. I turned to John 4:21.
"Believe me, dear woman, the time has come when you won’t worship the Father on a mountain nor in Jerusalem, but in your heart"
I love this story, I love how Jesus loves on this woman and how she becomes the first evangelist, but today I felt the Lord say the message wasn’t anything to do with the Samaritan woman, but it landed in my spirit like a big soppy kiss.
Worshipping Him in our hearts. That beautiful relationship that we can have if we want to accept it. I was writing my thoughts in my journal as I pondered this and I wondered how many of us write and wonder if it’s Him? Wonder if maybe after all…. it’s just me, or it may be Him but it’s just for me not others.
In our very very deep hidden parts, what do we really think of the words we write? Why are we writing the words, where are they going? What is the point of them, what should we do with them?
I was just mulling that over in my mind and browsing the bible app and I saw that the verse for today was Galatians 6:9 and so I looked again in the Passion Translation.
"And don’t allow yourselves to be weary or disheartened in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you’ve planted is coming! 10 Take advantage of every opportunity to be a blessing to others,[a] especially to our brothers and sisters in the family of faith!"
What? He always knows what is in our hearts. We wait for a harvest, for something, for anything to show us we are on the right track. But hey! We worry about nothing. Read this again and then mull it over.
For me it was answering all the questions that I don’t ask out loud. I have published my absolutely awesome prophetic poetry book Heaven is all about Him, and I know and have seen, that it touches people’s hearts. It blew me away when I realised the words were not only for me. They were definitely from Him! The thing is we have to be willing to share them. We have to be brave and say I don’t care if some don’t like them…..I know some need to hear them.
I dip in and out of the book randomly and even now a couple of years after it was published I find hidden treasure in the words that I actually wrote myself. I often read one out to my husband or a friend and say …isn’t that beautiful? I wonder where that came from because I don’t recognise it as mine. My pen writes but the Holy Spirit inspires the words.
Yet I look at it and say….is it really what God wants me to do? I over think it!
The answer is in that scripture from Galatians. “Take advantage of every opportunity to be a blessing to others”.
I love to talk about the stories that have come from my book. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed by the amazingness of God and the randomness of how He lines up the people to read something He has for them, that I cry out of gratitude that He allowed me to be the one to bring the word to that person, for such a time as this and in His perfect timing.
As I was writing this morning, I felt the Spirit speak and another poem was delivered.
I said to the Lord, I guess I’ve felt weary in the past and not really believed that what comes out of my journal, what flows from my pen, is really You…….
Why not? You ask with a twinkle in Your eye
Am I just a feeling that sometimes passes by?
Am I just a fleeting thought in a worldly busy day
Or am I truth and light and love and am I here to stay?
Shut your early morning eyes and hand upon your heart
Forget I’ve dragged you from your bed for a very early start.
Feel the Spirit in you, feel the passion in My word
Are the rhymes that you bring forth the most amazing you have heard?
For these are not your cleverness, you deliver with your pen
and this I’ll keep reminding you over and again
My words, My message My delight, that I gifted you, my love
These seeds I have been planting, will bring your harvest from above.
I would like it to be a reminder for you to press in, to let go of the naysayers, the doubt in your mind and remember the enemy is the father of lies. Then shout out to the heavens, a cry of praise for God, for He is The Father of truth and love.
How can your words, gleaned from Him, not be a message to others? Believe it in you gut, if you don’t believe it, how can others? If they don’t, then we’ve taken away a precious gift from that person because you have no idea what massive blessing Holy Spirit might have prepared for them through your word’s that seemed so ordinary to you.
I think the Galatians scripture is back to front…it occurs to me that if you do the blessing part – the rest will come. Those seeds will germinate, and the harvest will be so overwhelming it will knock you off your feet!
I believe the poem that I wrote this morning is both for everyone and anyone who feels the Holy Spirit in their writing and for those who want it to be Him and want to learn more.
The last time I visited the UK with John, I was very sad to see the deterioration in dad’s health, but so happy that we made the trip and we were able to spend time with him. It was particularly nice to see John chatting to his grandad as an adult, drinking beer and talking about sport. I knew as we said goodbye and returned to Australia, that it was probably the last time I would hug him and tell him I loved him, in person.
After we came to see him in the UK when John was 17 my dad wrote to me and said this about watching my husband and son together, "when I watched the father / son interplay and family banter with its private humour that exists between him and his dad, I cannot help feeling how much I have missed with the death of Steven at six years of age"
It breaks my heart how that probably happened with every single father / son he saw. A lifetime of hurt and regret. A broken heart. That's my biggest joy, my heart is so happy, fit to burst, when I imagine what that reunion would have been like for them both as Jesus took him home.
He was a published author and had written several books….on dogs! On reflecting back, I really wish he’d written about his life. It would have been hilarious and fun but also a thought provoking and compelling read. He started young and accomplished a lot in his 88 years and there is still so much I don’t know about dad. A few years ago, he sent me a copy of his biography written for one of the dog magazines and it is a very interesting read. I wish I’d asked him more questions.
He was also a soldier and there are terrible things that he went through that I never heard him voice and all of that also made him who he was. He received 5 medals and I believe he would have shown true bravery and excellent leadership when he was out with his war dogs in the jungles.
He was a people person and easily made friends with strangers and they were drawn to his infectious ways and hilarious stories. If I have a trait in me that I see is from him, it’s the ease with which I make friends and the ability to make others laugh and feel included.
Dad had a wonderful singing voice and I have memories of him singing around a piano in the Sergeant’s Mess. We also had little routines that he taught us kids and we were rewarded with packets of crisps and fizzy drinks for entertaining his friends!
After losing his only son and the next child being another much loved daughter, he set about trying to be the best dad he could be and worrying that he might let us down.
He wrote to me about that time "When you lose one child from a family of five, it is the child that is lost, but the love you feel for that child stays with you for life"
On being a parent of five daughters he wrote "All you can do is to plant the seed and carry out the early training and lessons in the best way you can and then watch them grow. There comes a time when you have to let them go......when this happens you simply have to watch them, trust them and love them unconditionally until they turn into complete adults that you are proud to call your own"
He was very proud of his girls.....and of course I was his favourite second daughter.
November, a beautiful month to celebrate our son, my dad and my little brother.